Even If.

People ask quite often…what it is like to run Xpose Hope?  What is is like to help so many men and women, to be there when life is hard, to love hard, and to see such amazing miracles?

It’s wonderful, and it’s horrific.

Because we can’t do it all.

This morning, we were reminded in a very tragic way that not every one we talk to can we impact.  Not everyone even wants to talk to us.   And even when we see someone in pain, they don’t always want to share that pain.   

We’ve had ladies who we sat next to, in the hopes that they would get a restraining order that would save their lives.  They later returned to their abuser.

We have had friends who came to us for help escaping addiction, and we have provided them with resources, prayer, uplift and love.  And yet, not all of them finish the program.  Many end up in terrible situations.  So clearly we can see that their lives are in danger, and we want to save them…but that is not what we do.   We have no power to save.   

This morning, one of our friends lost her life in a very tragic way.   This young woman was very dear to us.  Her smile could chase away a thousand dark clouds.  Her enthusiasm for life was contagious.   Her love for her kids, unquenchable.  

I watched her fight for her kids to be cared for by the medical establishment.  I watched her fight for her friends, and care for them.   I marveled at her ability to bounce back from situations most of us would find devastating.  

But in the end, we lost her…

And that …well there isn’t a better word for it, it sucks.  It’s not fair, and it’s awful.   

It makes you want to quit, and not help  anymore because you don’t want to endure the pain.  But then, along comes another woman or man from the industry…just wanting to chat.   And you realize…the power to save is all God’s and their own.   We can’t do more than be a friend.  To support.  To be there to listen, to offer resources.   

Because sometimes, life, inside or outside of the industry it sucks.   But if we can make better for even one person who just needs a hand to hold…how can we not?

Do we do it perfectly?  No.  We are imperfect.   We are only human.   But though we can’t do everything, we can do something… that is what friends do.

So when we mess up, or when life holds tragedy…do we still believe?  Yes.  We do.  Even if–because sometimes you win some, sometimes lose some.   Today, we are losing bad, and hurting bad.   And today…a little faith is all we have.   But it’s going to have to be enough.  Because if it were me, I’d want someone to hold out their hand and hold me.   

So we march on… even if tragedy comes.   But I’m thankful that God does hold our tears in his bottle.  Because it’s been a day for tears.